We are nearing the end of the massive, manic stack of first drafts I cranked out when I was sick, had convinced myself I was dying and the subsequent recovery.
I love heists and robberies in movies and have long tried to work some kind of heist into a short, but I could never get it working before now because I had no scheme for my would-be robbers. I think I finally cracked it in this one because the scheme is really good if I do say so myself.
It still has the same traps all first drafts have. The characters aren’t fully formed, the pacing is off. But the strength of the scheme is there, so maybe this will be one of the lucky few that gets a second draft.
Before I move on to draft 2, what I’m thinking is:
More setup and exploration of the relationship between the resident and their deceased mother. The “I love you” was a spur of the moment decision and I think it makes it more interesting, especially if it’s properly setup rather than just dropped at the end.
Got to decide on character names. Choosing names is always the hardest part for me, which is why I elected to skip it in this draft but it always helps define who these people are in my head once they’re given a name.
Shoutout to the Mission Impossible franchise, Ocean’s Twelve, Out of Sight.
Dream Casting:
The Mortician: Juliette Lewis, John David Washington
Mom: Laurie Metcalfe, Cloris Leachman,
Owner: Christos Stergioglou, Ray Winstone,
Resident: Woody Harrelson, Tim Robbins,