Just like the first draft of SHADOW, I like the opening but it drops off a cliff after the title card.
This is typical of Don’t Worry first drafts. I’m building off the first image I had in my head, which in this case was Meghan realizing she bore a resemblance to the missing woman. And then I just see where it takes me.
Once that initial stabbing in the dark runs its course, I read it back and I’ll say, “Yeah, the opening works but everything else has got to go.” It’s certainly not the most efficient way to write, because everything past Meghan buying hair dye is practically a first draft all over again, but at least I know where not to go and what not to do. Those first thoughts (aka worst thoughts) have been filtered out of my system and then I can start building on a foundation of initial dissatisfaction.
Can’t say I recommend this process for any projects with big scopes but since these are rarely longer than 11 pages, it’s manageable.
I will say that I’ve been sitting on this opening for a while. At first it was a story about a young woman “escaping” a cult. Then it became about punishing someone who makes everything a joke. And now we’re here with someone transforming themselves in hopes of collecting some reward money. It might be recency-bias but this feels like the best version of it?
POSER is the title right now but I have plans for another short tentatively titled SHAPESHIFTER. It’ll be in the “notes” section soon.
What I want to know before I move on to draft 2 is:
Am I right to slow down the intro and include more setup for the family? Like, I think Meghan studying the family’s press conferences, news reports about Diana’s disappearance, her social media and other shit like calling the tip-line to find out how she can claim the reward if Diana just turns up is more interesting than Tommy’s exposition.
Does the Sauer family need to be ultra-rich and have an unsavoury reputation? I think it’s maybe more interesting for a lower-middle class family to band together in a coverup. There’s more at stake for a have-not family needing to make good on their promise of a reward than a family who doesn’t feel it no matter how many zeroes you add.
If they aren’t super rich, what’s the backstory of Diana & her husband? I still think he’s killed her accidentally and mother Anne comes in to help to cover it up because she loves her baby. Or she was in his ear to get rid of her Queen of England style?
Should Jonathan and Seth be combined into one character? I’m leaning towards yes since I don’t think there’s enough for them to do separately.
Shoutout to Gone Girl, Prisoners, John & Patsy Ramsey.
Dream Casting
Meghan/Diana: Rosamund Pike, Nicole Kidman,
Anne: Kathy Bates, Betty White, Phyllis Diller,
Jonathan/Seth: Jesse Plemons, Caleb Landry Jones,
Roy: Tim Curry, Peter Friedman,